March 2009 -Are You Ready To Live Your Life Authentically & Joyously?

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What is it to be authentic?

It means to stop faking your life, but instead live the life you were born to fulfill. To be authentic is to be genuinely aligned with your true values, beliefs, & goals. It means to never settle, to be honest with yourself and others. Ask yourself, what your core values are, what your passions are, what excites you?  Look deep within yourself and be the self-author of your life and then live it. That is to be authentic.

Let me ask you this: Do you feel like your life is on hold? Do you feel like you’re following someone else’s script instead of being who you are and what you came here to do? Do you feel like you’re waiting to give yourself permission to joyously be yourself? Are you caught up in excuses like, “someday when I have enough money, then I’ll live my life for me”, or “someday when the kids are grown”, or “someday after I go back to school to get my degree”, or “someday when I have more time, then I’ll truly begin to live authentically?

If you answer yes to any of these, you’re not alone. The fact of the matter is if you’re like a lot of people, you’ve become like a domesticated animal. That doesn’t sound too complimentary, but it’s closer to the truth than you may like. You’ve been trained since childhood to fit in. You’ve been conditioned to what is expected of you, and how to behave and what you should want and strive for in life.

While many of us were fortunate to have parents or family who celebrated us as unique individuals, more times than not our early training and conditioning of who we are, and what we choose to do with our lives was based on fear, practicality and what society expected of you. All of this was probably done or suggested in the spirit of protecting you and preparing you for your life ahead, but often in this process it’s as though your authentic self got lost along the way. Perhaps out of your need for approval and validation, you followed this path, but you lost touch with your very essence.

Ask yourself, how have you tried to validate yourself but without being authentic to who you are? Have you tried to change yourself to fit in with what you think your parents, spouse or partner wants? Have you given up yourself to support or nurture others and lost your identity in the process? Have you landed the job your parents wanted for you?

If you’ve ever felt scattered and out of balance with your life and yourself, it may be that you’re working for the wrong reason: trying to prove to others what others don’t care about anyway, that you’re good enough, or to show others, or to be better. If that is your reason for working, or how you spend your time, you will never feel it’s enough and you will never feel the peace of living authentically. Instead do what you do because you feel wonderful, because it gives you joy, because it’s who you are.

Can you remember your childhood dreams and the wonderful imaginary world you often lived in? Remember the magic that lived inside your heart where anything was possible? And then you were told to grow up, to get real, and to be responsible, and you disconnected with your true self. There was a clear message to put your dreams and your imagination aside and be realistic. Perhaps you even felt guilty or lost when you tried to go against expectation and follow your own heart? And with that you decided to put who you really are on hold, and that it’s not ok to be uniquely you.

With that decision you decided that feeling truly happy and inspired about your life would have to come later, when you had more time, or more money or had earned the right to truly live your life authentically. You’ve been conditioned to believe that you’re rewarded for fitting in and wanting what everyone else wants, to such an extent that if asked, you might not even know what you truly desire. It’s no surprise if you no longer know who you are, and why you feel stuck waiting for your life to begin.

If you ever felt like a round peg, trying to fit into a square hole, it’s simply a wonderful wakeup call that you are not living your life authentically.

So what are your excuses and concerns? What do you tell yourself about following your dreams and your passions? What’s stopping you?

Do any of these sound familiar?

“What will my family, spouse or others think?”
“What if I fail?”
“I’m not good enough, or smart enough”.
“I’m too old”.
 “I can’t do this now because I’ve got responsibilities”.

The excuses are endless and this is simply your conscious minds way of attempting to protect you, but instead it is sabotaging you. I like to call it the monkey mind. It’s like a wild animal and all it’s trying to do is prevent change, because it thinks change is dangerous.

When these excuses and what-if’s come up, ask yourself, is this really true?

Ask yourself, what’s the worse that could happen?
How likely is it that this would happen?
Is this a good enough reason to not reach for you heart’s desire and live your life authentically?

OK now ask, what is the best that could happen, if things work out in your favor………the very best that could happen?

And now, just compare again, what is the worst that could happen if it didn’t work out and how likely is that? (Give a moment)

Now ask yourself this, is the potential loss greater than the possible gain? (Give a moment)

And ponder this, if you fulfill your desire will it result in a more honest, happier, authentic and a freer life? (Give a moment)

Regardless of the situation you find yourself in, there is nothing more important than living your life authentically, and you can begin now, even if it’s just in the most simply ways. Perhaps you’ve secretively wanted to be an artist, or to dance, or work to create a more sustainable world. So take an art class, learn to dance, join a non-profit organization that allows you to give of your talents. When you begin to honor yourself and your heart, you will once again feel inspired, and when you feel inspired you automatically open up more creative avenues and solutions to live authentically. Make a plan and stick by it. The fact of the matter is you can’t be authentic without taking chances, and if you’ve decided to pursue your desire, don’t sit back and wait for the perfect moment to act, because it almost never comes. 

So answer this in your mind; are you going to take the next step now to begin to live your life authentically?

Life is not a dress rehearsal. Your precious life is happening now. Why wait until you’re at the end of your life and you suddenly realize you never lived it, that you never celebrated who you are and why you’re here.

I’d like to sum up this article with a wonderful quote from Neale Donald Walsch, author of Conversations with God, and many other books:

“Money is not the issue. Having the courage to
give your highest gift is the issue.

There is no security in doing something for a living
when you are dying inside while doing it. That is taking
care of the body at the expense of the soul. And a
withering soul cannot help but produce a withering body.
So do not think you are "taking care of yourself" by
killing your spirit to keep your body alive. How long will
you put off what you are dying to do?”

I want you to begin today thinking about ways you could truly live your life authentically. Write them down and then put them into action. Remember, you are an awesome, unique, powerful and talented person.

If you feel stuck, call me for a hypnosis session or two and get back on track today.

And if you know someone who could benefit from this article, feel free to forward this newsletter using the forward link below.

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